Can’t Pause


Following up my first post about being lonely as a new mother which was hard to confess, there’re few other confessions I would hide because I’m supposed to be happy and I’m supposed to be fine with all these changes. The word “Supposed” is stressful by itself because we hide so many emotions and feelings thinking motherhood is so beautiful and we have to be perfect mothers.

I admit I started to feel extra anxious and more stressed by just thinking and my husband would say I’m over-thinking that’s why my hair is falling. I’m stressed by various things not only regarding my baby even my life in general. I’m blessed with a quiet baby who doesn’t cry that much so that doesn’t stress me as much, yet when I sit with him too much I need some time off and just breath for awhile.

I’m stressed over my body shape, it makes me feel self conscious and insecure in general. I know that I’ll lose the baby weight with time and I have to be patient but I miss wearing something and feel confident about myself. They also say I should trust my instincts and I would naturally know what to do because I’m a mother but I’m scared of that as well, I don’t know if what I’m doing is right or wrong.

One of the things I’m really scared to confess would be my marriage life being on a confusing state. Females are known in general to be the fixers in a relationship, I know nothings is wrong in my marriage life but I’ll be stressed over having less time talking to my husband in things else than the baby, just try to be close to him even by just hugs but I feel lacking in that zone. Like a baby I would want someone just to take care of me because I’m exhausted mentally and physcially, no one would understand this feeling obviously so I don’t talk about it to anyone.

What stresses you currently face ?

2 thoughts on “Can’t Pause

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